i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
