who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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