Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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