Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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