There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
