Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
