If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize