all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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