i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
