He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
