She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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