Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
There are leaves in my underwear?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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