garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize