Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
he just fucked me for my cheese.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
