Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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