I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
