After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
