We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize