I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
