Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
