And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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