i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
