I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
