what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
