hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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