Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
