I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
