I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
