he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
