Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
