he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
