i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
