that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
