She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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