yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
