Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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