Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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