just tell him i said nine months
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
