He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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