what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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