if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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