U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
