Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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