so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
