this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
