would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
