I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize