for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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