You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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