just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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