Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
