Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
