whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
high people should be assigned attendants
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
