I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
