"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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