His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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