I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize