He asked to "fluff my boner.."
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He passed out mid-signature
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize