so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
