I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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