trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
