Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
