it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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