I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
