Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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