the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
