Barsexuality is the new black.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
